hi. for a long time now i have very violent thoughts and i think it comes from ptsd. it seems that i can't get past the anger i got towards people who have hurt me in the past. even though those things are a long time ago. i zone out and i think about beating the crap out of them. blood, bones breaking smashing there faces into the pavement. very very graphic violent stuff. and the thing that scares me most is i love how it makes me feel. thinking that stuff makes me feel great. when i'm stressed or mad or anything like i think about stomping on one of there faces over and over again until its crushed or shooting them or setting them on fire anything and i feel so calm and relaxed. sometimes i think about that stuff to relax and fall asleep at night. i used to fight a lot and i know i was a jerk for doing it but i miss it. i would never hurt anyone in my family or my friends or a innocent person anything like that but if i saw one of them people that i think about hurting i don't know what i'd do. i'd like to think its just in my head and just a way of dealing with stuff but i don't know.