Thanks, Lynn.
You know...as I'm sitting here reflecting on this morning's convo with him (over Skype vid), and he's trying so hard to seek understanding of my behavior toward this situation. I see how he's so accepting of me that it makes me cry. It is so obvious how much he loves me.

He asks me why? I sit there with this blank stare...thinking, (I think I'm thinking at that time). The only reply I come up with is, "I don't know".

Of course I know why. I see how he is struggling to understand, and that, too, makes me cry. Yet....I just cannot bring myself to admit my weakness.
So, I divert..again...or, have been trying to for quite sometime now and it's beginning to be effective.
I'm losing him. I see it. It hurts like hell..the thought of not having him anymore...yet, pride (?) prevents my admission.

Ugh!

Shangrala