Jexa...I hope youre feeling better!!!!!!! I do believe in a "Higher Power" and grandpa will be held accountable for what he did, if not in this lifetime then the next. You were not devinely created in an awsome and magnificient way for his selfish, perverted desires!! Sorry, but this may be a trigger for you.....I wouldnt suggest it, if it didnt already work for me. Here goes...take a deep breath Jexa and read on......Try and replace the guilt directed inward towards yourself and replace your guilt with pity and forgiveness directed outwards towards your grandad. Even if its only in your mind. Keep breathing Jexa............A sad, sad, man one is, who steals for his own sexual pleasure, the innocence of a child. He deserves much less than pity or forgiveness but this is not for him, its for you. You dont have to see him or even speak to him. The healing takes a long time but it will come. WAIT FOR IT!! It doesnt mean youre backing down or saying what he did was ok, its for your own peace. Its too heavy a burden to carry for a lifetime. If you do, then he will have won. I know your pain from personal experience and hope this message has not offended or trivialized your pain in any way. My heart for you is personal healing!!!!!!