perpetuallysad
junerain
I'm sorry for all your pain.
I read over the first response from your sister.... and.... well... I think she has learned some narcissistic traits(if you don't mind me saying so) at least this is how it seems(IMO) .....
like here--
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I believe alot of the things you say happened you have told your self for so long that you actually believe it happened when in reality it didn't.
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couldn't she have just said-- I'm sorry that you are hurting from our childhood.?
and here--
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it was not as bad as you make it seem.
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THAT is her view-- Not yours. She didn't validate your view.
and --
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I can also forgive people for the things they have done in the past.
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Yep-- HER view again.
and here-- OH this is just what the mother does to me-- she puts the blame on me if I am hurt--
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I don't ever say anything to you because everything hurts your feelings or makes you cry or hurts your son's feelings, so I have come to barely say what I really want to say just so I don't hurt your feelings.
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argh!
again HER view
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I don't believe the family that someone grows up in turns them into who they are as adults,
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and once more--
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you can still be a perfectly functioning adult even with abusive and crazy parents. I believe I have made a good life I have a loving husband and great kids.
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it's all HER view.
perpetuallysad
I'd like to suggest you obtain any book you can on coping with difficult personalities in the family. I just finished a book -- How to Deal with Powerful Personalities ...by Dr. Tim Kimmel (I got it at Goodwill for 99 cents)... it's helped me some too. I am a reading maniac!!
I look at yard sales, book sales that libraries have, second hand stores, even some dollar stores carry books. I wish I could send you the book.... not that it has all the answers-- just anything that can lead in a healing direction is worth it..... wish we had a book swap here at PC-- that would be cool!
anyway-- kind of got sidetracked there..sorry.
I just so understand your pain and yours too Junerain. Family dynamics can be so depleteing of our energy and souls.
You're both in my thoughts and heart.
fins