Hello Bennan - i used to have obsessive thoughts of suicidal ideations also, and I lost my friends because I scared them all away. But there is hope, for me it was due to a chemical imbalance. I recommend going to see a psychiatrist, this changed my life (and saved me) we don't have the run of mill depression. I think you should know that you are your keeper, which means if you are acting on these feelings.. actions.. you have everyright to call 911 or go the emergency room (or entitle yourself to call a suicide hotline Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.) your worth it.
You don't know what the future will bring.. really.. I lived though it and things have really changed.
Check out the video
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Try to make it through, please try to make it better, UR not alone.

you can see a psychiatrist w/o ur parents at a local clinic...