.... Kacey you made me smile.... I want to 'win/steal' Mark back but not really to hurt him (well maybe just a little).. I more want him to realise that he was always wrong and I want the 'other woman' to hurt like she caused me to hurt.. and him to hurt a little too
I still love him in lots of ways I guess and I don't think it will ever go away completely.
My T would say that your husband is manipulating you even if he is not aware of it.. a little tug at the heart strings to keep you caring/longing/hoping.. It's not a healty situation. (I can't talk - I still get happy when I hear from Mark but not the same rush that I got when we forst broke up).
Stay strong and try to focus on the positives even if they seem impossible to find.. Just one smile a day - ...