(((Babysteps))) - I know you're not expecting us to solve your problems, although we wish we could. Even though I haven't been clinically diagnosed with depression, I know part of me is very down. I can very much relate to feeling like you're existing - I feel like I'm living in limbo really. Yes at least I feel connected to my kids, but I don't feel connected to an adult - that's gone for good. I know my post doesn't sound too cheery or optimistic, like I normally sound. But we're friends and I can be honest with you, since you know my situation.

At least you can feel I understand some of what you're feeling and we all want understanding. I think it's good you're talking about it and the suicidal feelings. I can't remember why you changed you T? I'm going to leave you a link that I often use in the Q&A section - it's a compassionate website. This website's not just for people who might be thinking of suicide thoughts, but for anyone who's depressed. I hope things get better for you.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/