deli, I too really like pdoc's metaphor about the armor and austin-T being the sword. Wow, that really fits well with what you have described about them so far. Oh my gosh I actually have tears in my eyes. I am just really touched by pdoc's metaphor.. they do, deli, they do care about you so much; they consult about you, they are putting their heads together, and although they are human and make mistakes, they want to help you win this battle! And you keep fighting too, even though you want to quit and even though austin-T can be a dolt and even though pdoc isn't always so good at being there for you. You keep fighting. I believe in you, deli. I am so glad you gave that note to pdoc. And I agree with darkrunner. It's okay if you don't talk to him about it right now. You sent it. He's not going to get rid of you! He wants to be your armor! He is probably glad to have gotten honest words from you. He is probably so glad to have gotten your note.