Anne, I am very isolated as my immediate and extended family are not in my life, some through their rejection and stigmatisation of me because of my mental illness, and some whom I've had to turn away as they won't get help for their own addictions or mental illness. So I'm going through a period where, aside from one friend who lives far away (friends have gone too for the same reasons), it is largely my GP, the mental health professionals and to a lesser extent AA (it's very insular where I live and there's no contact with me outside the meetings, which is very different from where I got sober where there is a thriving social life) that I have contact and support with.

I chose to pay for a private psychologist as well as the public psychologist (both are excellent but have different approaches and skill sets) so that when one isn't available I see the other and they really do complement each other.

But the real over-arching reason is that I nearly died at my own hand (5 day coma, many medical interventions to save my life) two years ago in a 100% serious attempt (not a "cry for help" or a "call for attention"). So seeing two psychologists is part of my risk management strategy to get as much support as possible so I don't go down that path again and to get the best mental health possible for me. And it is a very real risk. I came to the town I am in 20 months ago and found my new psychiatrist who quickly established that I should NEVER EVER have been on SSRI's and that, in addition to my illnesses themselves, made me suicidal daily, for years, before I actually made the attempt - 3 months before I moved here.

Had he not made that discovery and taken mr off SSRI's I'd be long dead now. I have improved but I can plunge into suicidal thinking very easliy, partially due to the residual psychiatric effects of the SSRI's and also because this whole scenario ripped my life apart from end to end, I will never realise the potential and the great career I had had for 14 years, the financial losses are staggering, all my child bearing years have been chewed up. So the two psychologists are part of my desperate daily effort to have some sort of a life. Long answer, sorry.