aww, thank you lovelies (luce!! long time ).
i feel at so much peace right now. i really cant believe pdoc said all of that, over the phone too. at most i thought he might say that he'd received my letter & thank you & talk next week; at worst i thought he'd tell me not to come back. i cant believe he said all of that to me on the phone. or that he'd even say it, full stop.
my housemate wants us to watch tv together now but i told her i wanted to do some uni work in my room. im not doing anything, more just sitting with this feeling of nice. i cant believe how much pdoc gets me to know to call and to say all of that. it was a 10 minute call and i was anxious he was staying on the phone instead of being with his patients, but it meant the world to me that he did that for me. im so lucky i have pdoc.

im still not sure what is happening with austin-t (i said we'd cancel; he said he'd keep the spot open - what do i do?). i see pdoc on wed, austin-t was meant to be tues. i dont really want to see austin-t until i can see pdoc, because pdoc said he'd fix things and i dont know if he has. but do you think it's enough that i said to cancel, or do i need to reply & say i'm not coming again? im scared if i do that then austin-t will think im never coming and close my file, but pdoc said we need him so i don't know what to do.