Hi Jenni,

I read your post twice, and felt that I have been exactly where you are
for the past 20yrs too.

I don´t like preachers, but please go to aypsite.org (they say you can
lead a horse to the water, but you can´t make him drink)!!! This particular spiritual path offers free lessons that can transform your life. I hear you, in your pain, and I extend my hand to you in friendship.

Things will get better. Don´t give up hope that all of your questions will be answered.

Hang in there
nirmal



Yeah my doc wasn't too thrilled about the idea but she started me on prozac(didn't work when I took it 8 years ago) and the lamictal...and said come back in 2 weeks and we will c if you are any better then I'll let you try it! what ever she knows in two weeks the prozac prob won't be kicked in and/or I could be in a hypo/manic state but whatever I say Just as long as I end up w/ what I think will help me in the end. Yeah I know adderall can be addictive but if it gets me out of bed and has me taking care of my family then I'm all for it. I'm just at my end here...20 years of no hope and 10 years of trying just to fail ..well it has me looking for other options like going and checking myself into a long term clininc where I will make it so I never get out I'm just so tired all the time and angry...and angry at what? I don't know...myself? I'm sick of hurting everyone around me. anyway thats me rambling again[/quote]