I'm a 24 yr old guy and I have recently been diagnosed with adult ADHD (inattentive type), OCD, Clinical Depression and Anxiety Disorder. My psychiatrist also has me on a very low dosage of an anti-psychotic. So I guess I have some personality disorder(s) also.
My problem is that I have weird sexual fetishes (nothing illegal and nothing that could hurt another person, physically at least). I would explain further, but that might offend a lot of people here.
Other facts that might be significant :-
- straight
- virgin, have never kissed a girl. Have only had one female friend, and she once told me that she I was like a brother to her.
- loner (not by choice), socially inept, have no friends, have no siblings
- was heavily bullied (mostly verbally) from ages 12-17
Undiagnosed ADHD has practically ruined my life. I'm trying very hard to redeem myself and to get my life back on track. But one thing keeps getting in my way. I'm basically a pervert. Not the kind who would try to cop a feel in a crowded bus/train, but the kind who can't stop himself from imagining every post-puberty, pre-menopause, remotely attractive female naked. Its like I have an insatiable libido. No amount of masturbation can help me. On top of this, I have weird sexual thoughts. The kind of thoughts that I don't think most "normal" people have. Like I mentioned before, enactment of these thoughts won't land me in jail or physically hurt another person, but if I told you everything about my fetishes, you would be utterly grossed out and you would think that I'm definitely a deranged person.
And thats the problem. I am NOT a deranged person. I do not have any criminal tendencies. I don't drink, have never smoked a cigarette, have never done drugs. I haven't ever passed a red light. But if I told anyone about my fetishes, they would surely think I'm weird, creepy and crazy. Which is why I have never told anyone and am never going to. The problem is that its not easy to go on like this.
So my questions is : Can these fetishes and 'being horny all the time' be somehow connected to the mental illnesses I have been diagnosed with? Does anyone know?
And can anything be done about it?
I'm the kind of person who has to come to terms with the fact that he is going to die a vrigin. I am really really socially inept and on top of that, I'm not a very good looking person. Is there ANYTHING I can do to kill my libido? I want be an asexual person. Can anyone help me?
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