Thanks everyone for the advice,I'm gonna have to really think what to do. I never really thought of it as abusive,or self serving.
I was hoping when he suggested the open marriage thing it was just a faze(sp?) him being 47. I dont have a problem if its just a fantasy but if he did/has is another thing. sure i have that fantasy to once in awhile but its only a fantasy in my head. I would like to see whats on the hiden account but have no idea how to.
But again thanks for any and all advice.