Hi Mom.......I truly understand what you are going thru and its the pits. Luckily I had a great PDoc, along with In Vivo therapists who helped me overcome my avoidances. I too was put on Klonopin and it has worked for me for over 20 years, with never having to increase the doseage. I am sorry it is not the med for you. If neither Klonopin or Ativan has worked - and both being benzo's, your Doctor may need to try a different class of drug. When I was still suffering, the In Vivo therapists taught me to stop my "stinkin thinkin". I was always saying things that set me up to be anxious. "I ALWAYS get anxious at the grocery store" changed to "WHAT IF I feel anxious at the grocery store". That takes the FEAR out of our thinking, and gives us some power back over the anxiety monster. Saying "WHAT IF" gives us options - like I can walk out and let someone put my groceries away, or I can leave for a bit, get some air, and then return to try and get thru the line.
As for the breathing issue, everyone breathes. It happens automatically, without us even "thinkin" about it. Our body WILL breathe. Learning diaphragmatic breathing - your belly moves more than your chest, will help. Its something that takes practice, because us anxious types tend to raise our shoulders with each breath and our lungs are not in our shoulders. If you lay down on your back, put one hand on your chest and one on your belly, and relax, and breathe - forcing your belly out everytime you INHALE and in everytime you EXHALE, feeling it happen with your hands - will teach this to yourself. It DOES take practice, but once you have learned it - when you start feeling you are not breathing right - kick it into diaphragmatic breathing no matter where you are. Hope this helps - cause it sure is scary feeling like we cannot get a deep breath!