nzgal....

Well, I'd like to think that I am not a bad person. I do give of myself and have accomplished a great deal in my life. Actually have accomplished a lot in my career that has made a difference in people's lives. I spend countless hours coaching girls softball. I know I am a good person, I know I have value... I also know that I have made grievace mistakes. And, these mistakes are haunting me each and every waking moment (which is why I can not wait to crawl into bed each day).

My ex girl friend will never "come around". That is my reality. And, I also see the other side of her. She does want to cause me pain. I guess in many ways I deserve it. She has done just enough to embarrass me publicly and to hold a veiled threat over my head. I worry each day that she will follow through on exposing me and then I will lose my job.

It is nearly impossible for me to concentrate on anything. Meds and therapy are not making a dent in my state of mind as it is these problems combined with loneliness and isolation that is bringing me down. I just lost a dear aunt of mine last Thursday and on top of everything else had to make funeral arrangements and clean out her apartment. There is just no joy in my life any longer.

Sorry for venting.