Dear Zen I was just talking of this yesterday.
I have 3 very angry siblings I do not know what I ever done to them to make them so nasty and angry
.All younger than I .
I thought I could be the good older sister for years and over look every thing and be kind to them.
It did not matter how good I was to them they have the problems.
So now I do not have a relation ship with 3 of them and you know I do not care any more it is Ok.
I can not change them and I can not take their crap any more.
I do not even write to them and have no plans to.
I gave them all I had and we are just not going to be freinds .
My dad said to me you and your sisters . He started to say how it is ashame we do not get along and then I reminded in that he did not have much of a relationship with his family and how I remember the big nasty fist fight he had with his little brother that started in one room of the house and ended in another.
I was told by his Aunt before he died that the family were very English and all cold hearted people so were not a close knit family.

My mother has very little natural mothering instincts toward her children.

My mom often had trouble with her sisters they pitted each other against each other and my mom has done the same with us girls.
My sisters were a year apart in age and they always would fight.
They became as different as night and day as teenagers and hated each other.
My brother is mad at the world always loud and unhappy and does not know how to show kindness to most people.

We were not all taught how to get along well with each other and to respect each other .
And when you throw many mental disorders into the big ball of wax, and selfishness and unatural feelings together well you don't come out with warm fussy relationships.

I feel I am in a better place with my family than I have been for years .
I never hear from my sisters or one brother .
Only the baby brother on occasion.

It feels lonely or sad at times.

When I see movies or TV shows depicking a happy
relationship between familys.
I have cried already when seeing things that happen on TV that are very special and wonderful happen in familys.
For me at this time .

I think I have made a great new freind and but she is afraid of being too close .
But she has 2 sisters that she talks with all the time so maybe for her it is not that she is all the afraid of being too close maybe she is telling me she does not need a friendship with another female as much a I do.

I have had almost close friendships with people at times ,people that I really like and because they have daughters and sisters and mothers or others they do not always want a close friendship with others.

If you find that new freind you rement and you both want a close friendship make her your new family.
Feel no guilt we can not allow others to always walk over us like door matts.
M8G