Like you, I'd much rather step back if I ever had to confront a "battle of the best" regarding a man. Though, I think my surrender of such confrontation stems from my fear of the forced loss, and thus great heartache, (I'm NO good when it comes to pain, especially heartache), so I abandon it before it abandons me, it suppose.
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I think what you said here is very insightful Shangrala. I think you're right, you would rather be the one making the decision rather than 'forced loss'. I think it's a mixture of pride that stems from your childhood experiences and fear of showing your vulnerability - you don't want to show you're hurt, so you act like it doesn't bother you. I think it's great you're realizing this about yourself and understanding where it comes from.