and i said ok. and he said the last paragraph of what i wrote, and he read out the bit "i miss so much not having someone around who thinks i'm significant." - he said he's around and he thinks i'm significant, and i'm not unloveable, and he's going to stay with me because that's just how it is. and he said that he suspected that he was more of a father figure to me than my own dad was, and that he was honoured and proud to be so. he said again he's sticking with me and he's going to help me and not to be afraid. and at some point during this i had started crying, and he said he's never heard me cry before and said it was a wonder that i would, and then in typical pdoc fashion he burst out with one of his jackass pdoc laughs. he's so ridiculously inappropriate at times but i love him for it.

.

DELI!!

Oh wow. I just.. I am so moved by all of this and I have happy tears in my eyes and I am so glad things are going in this direction and that pdoc is safe and that you are safe and that everything is going to be okay. And I just fell in love with your pdoc a little bit and I'm so glad you picked up the phone to talk to him and I'm so glad you are opening up and that he understood the significance of it all and I just have this deep sense of "deli's truly going to make it" and..

aww, thank you lovelies (luce!! long time ).

im still not sure what is happening with austin-t (i said we'd cancel; he said he'd keep the spot open - what do i do?). i see pdoc on wed, austin-t was meant to be tues. i dont really want to see austin-t until i can see pdoc, because pdoc said he'd fix things and i dont know if he has. but do you think it's enough that i said to cancel, or do i need to reply & say i'm not coming again? im scared if i do that then austin-t will think im never coming and close my file, but pdoc said we need him so i don't know what to do.