My husband and I made the decision/pact almost a year ago to not hit our kids, not even spank them. I did research for a final project for school and discovered the very negative impacts of spanking children. I found this site had the best information about it:
http://www.stophitting.com/

I may have the wrong view of spanking. I may not understand what spanking is that is not considered physical abuse. But where is that line drawn? At what point is it okay? At what point does it not hurt the child? Because even if it doesn't leave marks or or break bones or whatever else physically, it does break their spirit and it breaks their trust towards the parent. And in that way, if it's not physical abuse, then it is emotional abuse.

Well, I was physically abused as a child and "discipline" was the excuse. It's not discipline. It doesn't teach us anything other than, we are bad kids, we don't deserve respect, and we should fear our parents. It teachs us that we should respect and submit to people even if they don't respect us. In that sense, it teachs us to become victims over and over. And it teaches us to put ourselves in bad romantic relationships. Because it teachs us to stay and love someone no matter how bad they hurt us.

Well, my "friend" thinks that I spoil my son by not hitting him. He thinks that he cries too much and acts out. He thinks I let him "get away" with too much. He told me I need to be meaner to him. He told me that his friend beats his kid when he acts "bad" and he doesn't cry as much as my son. He thinks that my non-spanking beliefs will cause my son to be too much of a free spirit. I didn't understand what he meant by that and he told me if I didn't understand, then he shouldn't explain it.

I don't want to hit my son. He's only 17 months old! And I promised my husband I wouldn't. My husband was abused by both of his parents. I was abused by one of my parents. I hate my father, but I love my mother for everything she has done for me. I trust my mother, I would trust her to take care of my son. I would never trust my father to watch my son for 5 minutes. Because of this I can see the difference and I know it's wrong. I don't want my son to ever feel about me the way I feel about my father. I know that if I ever smacked him, it would just get worse and worse. I have PTSD and I know that anger and rage. I know that feeling. I know the desire to be violent. I've beat up plenty of walls and and other objects. I've hit animals in the past, which I feel terrible about. I've come way too close to hurting my son too many times and I've had to hit my father's belongings instead (because I know that my father, and my son's blood father are the actually people that I'm actually mad at). My son's innocent and he doesn't deserve to be hit. and he's just a toddler, he's still not fluent in speaking, sometimes crying is the only way he knows how to express how he feels. And there's nothing wrong with crying (although it can aggravate us and upset us at times when we don't think we can take it anymore). He is right and justified to cry. He has a right to express his feelings. We can teach him to express them in a better way, but he has every right to feel upset, angry, sad, aggravated, etc. They're human emotions and teaching him not to express them or that they are wrong will only make him try to supress them and not know how to deal with them effectively. How would spanking teach him how to deal with his emotions effectively? Do we want to hurt ourselves now for being upset, would that make everything better, will that help us calm down? Not really...I think that's where SI stems from.