I feel guilty about even applying for disability. I know I need it as it's the only way I will continue to get my meds for practically nothing. The meds keep me alive and out of the hospital. If it weren't a life or death situation I'd feel worse.

But still, I realize there are some people more disabled than I who can't even work one day a week. Yet, this is not enough to survive on and certainly not enough to get insurance. I was denied individual insurance due to my mental health issues and I know no one else will take me on but SSDI.

I recently appealed the first denial as it was obvious they didn't even read my doctor's letters. My p-doc said they just automatically deny to see if you will appeal or not and agreed that they hadn't read her letter. If I do get disability, I think of it as only a temporary solution and that once I get more stable on a good meds combo, I'll be able to work more and pay for rent and my other bills. In the meantime, I too paid the insurance premiums for disability in my 12 years of working on and off. Not everyone will need it in their lifetime. That's what insurance is for.

You don't need to feel guilty if that helps. Easier said than done I realize.