I agree with Wendy. It's not normal to wish you could have the respite of death day after day. And I used to before my current meds combo. In that respect, not being normal is terrible to bear. In other areas, I would rather not be normal, like intelligence, consciousness, having a strong conscience, empathy, hope, optimism, etc. I'm not boasting that I have all those things. I just aspire to be more on the right side of the bell curve in those aspects. So, psychologically I'm definitely not normal in a negative sense, but normal isn't ALWAYS better than abnormal.