(((Googley)))
I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so down. What can I say to help??
Why has it been so long since you have had physical contact with someone (do you mean like a hug / hand grasp that type of thing?) Is it hard to get out and socialize? You sound so depressed. Is there someone you can speak with like a social worker or doctor? It sounds like the depression talking... I have been very much known to feel the same way "everyone would be better off without me." You just have to know that this is in NO WAY true. It is the depression talking and it is very convincing. I was happy to hear from you on the forum today. Also with depression concentrating is very hard. Are you taking any medication right now?

This sounds crazy, but do you like animals? Sometimes when I have been very down I go to see some pets who need to be adopted - (the quiet ones that will love to sit with you). Just giving a kitty an hour of attention is very rewarding and also quite calming, it is very good physical contact. Many hugs, Googley