Well.... I've been getting the run around in literally *every place* i have tried to get help. I've called places for the past 6 weeks trying (as some of you know); everyone from T to my ins to dr's to out patient clinics to... everywhere in 2 different counties.
Yesterday it culminated in my going to the ER (more specifically T to case worker to walk in clinic to ER).
I've had something like 2 weeks of increased anxiety and desperation, then 15 hours of panic attacks where in every instance I called someone for help they said "go to the hospital". I didn't accept that option. Tues, I nearly did go in... Wed a friend gave me a xanax... thurs i already outlined and the walk-in clinic counselor (who was AWESOME and I wanted to just keep her) basically wouldn't let me leave until i agreed to go to the ER and faxed all my info and how i "presented" there with her to them in advance. Each time I said I needed to think about it longer, or needed to go home, she just sat in the silence, looking very concerned, and waited. I don't have enough nerve to say "ok thanks, I'm leaving now" and walk out (i think i was also quite a bit younger by that time - maybe 14ish) and kept trying to get her to release me... but it soon became clear I'd not be let out until i agreed to go. Even a few more feeble "outs" she found ways around. *sigh*.

Thankfully, I'd been in contact with my mentor through all this and she dropped everything to meet me at the ER - she was a great support and advocate for me staying safe and not going into a full blown alter swap/panic attack. 2 hours later, no check up, 2 really nice medical personelle (female thanks to my mentor who asked for them), i was given 10 days worth of xanax.

****WHEW****