(((Googley)))
I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so down. What can I say to help??
Why has it been so long since you have had physical contact with someone (do you mean like a hug / hand grasp that type of thing?)
Yes that type of thing. Not since my grandpa's memorial service. I traveled for that. I've been living in a new part of the country and don't have that many friends. It isn't a really "huggy"part of the country. I don't live anywhere near my family. Though my parents are abusive, so that would really just mean my brothers. And guys really aren't big on the hugs. Though I miss them. I do socialize with my friends. But it is hard to get out and do. And the time in between can be really hard. I have a chronic medical condition that is flaring and i think making it worse.

Is it hard to get out and socialize? You sound so depressed. Is there someone you can speak with like a social worker or doctor?
I do have a T, and a pdoc. I haven't told my T how bad it has been getting because we have been having trust issues. I hope they are somewhat ironed out finally. But my pdoc doesn't seem to understand. He keeps saying just to buy the meds, but he doesn't understand that there will reach a point where I can't afford to buy them. And I rather take less meds for longer than run out sooner. He just says that it is going to be fine, but he isn't the one who has to balance my budget. So I know that not taking all my meds as prescribed makes it worse also.

It sounds like the depression talking... I have been very much known to feel the same way "everyone would be better off without me." You just have to know that this is in NO WAY true. It is the depression talking and it is very convincing. I was happy to hear from you on the forum today. Also with depression concentrating is very hard. Are you taking any medication right now?

This sounds crazy, but do you like animals? Sometimes when I have been very down I go to see some pets who need to be adopted - (the quiet ones that will love to sit with you). Just giving a kitty an hour of attention is very rewarding and also quite calming, it is very good physical contact. I love dogs. I will look into this. Thank you for the idea. Many hugs, Googley

Dear Googley, I both acknowledge your feelings -- may they dissipate quickly -- and state I am not a member of either one of those theoretical groups. Each one of your posts "touches" me.
Oh, Rohag! Your posts touch me too. I hate this time of year. It is the worst out of the whole year.

((((Googley))))
I know that I am just a far away voice on a computer, but I would miss you. Sending you a big embrace (if that's ok). You bring out my maternal instincts. I see how hard you try and so admire you for that. Don't forget how wonderful you are.
Susan, thank you for the hugs. It is nice to know that someone, even if only over the computer, feels motherly towards me. Because my mom's only hurt me... and left so much pain.

Hello, googley. So, what is the plan? Go through these again: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/

Do you see a therapist? Maybe you can get a hug. Will you not be with family or friends for Easter? What can you do to focus on your homework?
I do see a T, but she is very bound to boundaries and so I don't think she would give me a hug. Actually I'm positive she wouldn't. And it would just hurt to ask and get turned down. I'm going to take a break from homework for the night and try to get a fresh start tomorrow.

What one thing can you do now to make your life better?
I don't know what I can do right now. I'm trying to get support here.