((((((((((((((Lillyleaf))))))))))))))) I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I think it might be very hard for them to diagnose at such a young age as 14 but it's definitely worth trying to get mental health testing done to see what's going on. Perhaps you can ask your T or school counselor about it?

I often wonder how different my life would be now if I had been able to get the help I'm getting now back then. For me, everything was too much about secrets though I think and even at this age, telling secrets is a struggle. It wasn't until a more recent trauma/crisis happened that things started to fall apart for me.

Hang in there and just be truthful about what goes on for you. It will all get figured out as it needs to. Take gentle care. Life can get better.