thanks guys.

i dont think pdoc would've spoken to him on thursday - he only called me at 2pm and he wouldn't have spoken to austin-t prior to checking in with me. and then fri & mon are public holidays for us (is this the same in the US?).

i like the suggestion to txt him and say not coming on tuesday but asking to reschedule. or maybe saying i will call him after wednesday or something. i dont know what pdoc will say to him, or if pdoc is waiting to talk to me on wed now. i'm pretty sure pdoc wants to bring up sharing the letter with him.

im kind of over the really good feelings after pdoc's call, and i'm starting to ground again and i'm feeling a bit raw. i feel exposed about going back to pdoc (although i trust him to be not scary - that feels so good to believe and say ) and ugh. i just know there is stuff to talk about, and that sucks.