Getting off the rumination wheel is tough, and not something I have yet been able to manage. For me its about having control of a scary memory/situation that I had no control over. I have to keep going over and over and over it to get an answer- why did it happen, what did I do wrong. I KNOW there was nothing I could do about it, but the voice in my head, the one that blames me for everything bad that has ever happened to me, doesnt believe it.

It is so hard sometimes to believe that we are not bad- it takes time, and the support and understanding of a good T. You seem to have a T that you trust and feel safe with. Dont rush yourself- you need to go at your pace to heal