I know the insurance game enslaves us, but seriously, a shark talker, bee analogist?

I would have run out of there. (And I realize this was not an option for you and still is tough due to paying out of pocket, so I don't blame you.) I am so stubborn though, I probably wouldn't have taken any meds if I had to see someone like that. I'm impressed that you've survived with her this long. Proof that you're a strong person and that she is "one sick puppy."

A person who denies the patient's experience is just not worth their title. My first p-doc (actually a p-nurse) used to belittle me and even refused to change my meds when I was so depressed I wanted to die or remain unconscious for weeks. So, I fired her. Then I had to spend 2 months finding a new p-doc, but it was worth it. The new one has a box of toys and a tent in her office, but she treats kids as well. She's never picked up any of the props, let alone spoken through them.

People should have an intuition about the intelligence of their patients and what would be offputting. Even a simple rule about not doing crap like that with adults would be the obvious choice. Have you ever said to her, "please don't talk to me like a child. It's very demeaning." And if she says she doesn't, then cite the examples you've given us.

Just a thought. But maybe it's not worth it because you're already leaving her, or maybe you've already tried that and she's too unconscious to listen and understand what she's done.