Hello & Welcome, lxegirl!
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Originally Posted by lxegirl
I thought i could fake it till i make it, but i seem to be getting nowhere.
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"Fakin' it 'till y'make it" hasn't worked for me, either.
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Originally Posted by lxegirl
...sick to my stomach and have migranes...
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Here's a possible immediate priority. Talk to your doctor, and also your therapist, about these symptoms. It's hard enough dealing with depression by itself without these pains. They may be side-effects of your meds, or they may be unrelated to the meds or even to the depression; it's important to find out.
Please keep posting -- it can take some time for the right ideas for you to surface.
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My dog

mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.