(((jexa)))

I know what it's like to be caught in that circle. I spent years and years there, and am only just now emerging from it and finding clarity.

What did it for me was a combination of several things: EMDR, cutting ties with my mother, and also just having my own kids and looking at them every single day and realizing that a child cannot be at fault. And realizing just how much it would take to break their innocent spirits.

It is very scary to accept that it wasn't our fault, because when you do truly acknowledge that truth, then the pain of the reality hits you. That's where I am now....I can no longer deny or minimize what happened, so all there's left to do is feel it and grieve it.

I think you'll get there when the timing is right. Don't beat yourself up or rush the process. It takes time, but you will come to a place where you have enough safe support people and enough space in your life to face the truth and grieve it.

Until then, it's perfectly okay for your T to repeat to you over and over and over again those truths. That's their job.