Hi Jexa,
((((((jexa)))))))
I feel that way a lot too. I think it has something to do with my mind just won't accept some things because it would mean that like my whole reality is shifting...and it would affect these ideas and thoughts about the world that are just, bedrock for me.
Bedrock like, they have affected so many decisions I've made and my basic outlook on life for so long...that changing some ideas would just have this huge ripple effect that might change *everything* somehow.
I don't know maybe that's just my own fear...But when my T said once that my mind was trying to make sense about something involving emotional invalidation, and i kinda thought, if I accept the truth about this, it would just rock my world. and i still can't really get it to stick, and it was first brought up months ago.
So I agree with others, to be so gentle with yourself and allow for time to adjust to these ideas. The thing is, somewhere your mind knows it to be true, it just isn't ready yet...but that doesn't make it any less true, it just means you are growing and trying. and I'm proud of you.