Wow, I just feel the same way velcro, and others

Its very encouraging to read everyone's responses and how they are slowly learning to connect and be vulnerable.

Sometimes i have a problem because when we bring up something that seems painful or if it's about something that sounds not-good (self-esteem issues or whatnot), i just literally feel nothing inside. Its really weird b/c i know somewhere in my mind and do understand the implications of what we're talking about, but i just literally don't feel or think a thing. So it will be like T will say, "something, something something...because you feel you aren't worthy" or along those lines.
And i feel like i should be reacting, but don't feel or think any kind of reaction...sometimes i think in my head, "yeah, so what? it's just a fact of life for me, no biggie."
lol but would never want to say that or sound like a smarta**.
Then we'll be talking about something totally random and i'll just start tearing up? Or my mind will start having all these thoughts and i just feel confused and like it's hard to understand why this topic that doesn't even matter is making me vulnerable...so really, i have no idea how to access emotions when i'm right there in the moment....it' almost surreal.

But what a relief to hear of others' success and to know that it is possible