Thanks for the replies.
Tay, you're right. I could probably avoid seeing her, but the desire to see her outweighs my rational thoughts. I know it's torturing myself, but that's why I've always called it an addiction.

Thanks for the hug, ruffy. Yes, TayQuincy made a good point.

ECHOES, it's not the first time though it's the first time seeing her in RL since I have a new T. I just wish I weren't missing so much therapy now. Maybe I will email my new T about the situation, or wait and see how I feel first, and if this encounter happens or not.

Luce--Yes!! A part of me wants to see her very badly. Just because I accepted that she can't help me as a T anymore doesn't erase my feelings for her. I wish it did! If I expect nothing I'm still going to be stirred up by seeing her, but that's good advice. Or maybe I will expect to feel stirred up and just live with the feelings.

Far, you're exactly right about how I feel and how I will feel if I see her. I know she will talk to me for a few minutes, and ask how I am, and I can tell her I like IFS, and tell her I'm scared about my grandson. I know she still cares about me. I have to decide that will be enough for me because I have another T now, to work out those feelings. Maybe it's good this came up so I can discuss that part in more detail at my next session.