First off I want to really thank both of you (jexa and shezbut) for discussing this. Not only does it give me a lot of insight into the mindset of my gf that has been raped, the fact that you're both comfortable giving this kind of advice stemming from deep personal trauma is very courageous and admirable.

Both of you mention shame as the main problem with pushing the sexual envelope to the opposite extreme, yet I'm confused as to where this shame orginates. I feel like this makes a big difference. Does it orginate from the fact that it recreates the conflicting feelings of arousal that occured during the rape? Or is it more of a societal shame? A belief that this behavior is deviant and shouldn't be engaged in.