Oh yeah and the unstructured thing can drive me batty too.
But what i do is (and i don't even want to think about what T thinks about this, lol...maybe that i'm a control freak) almost every week, I bring in a list of concerns that i print out off the computer ...
Usually it's stuff that i've been writing about or thinking bout all week (im just no good at the spontaneous talking), and we go through the list. Each little problem (mad at H, made a bad grade, had this or that FEELING that i can't handle, don't understand this person/situation, etc.) spins off to other important things.
I'm still unpacking a lot of crap, and this process of list-making and thinking and talking with T helps me to know what to expect and makes me feel like each time i'm really, like...involved in the process, and like it's mine and T's ....not just T or not just me.