Breaking up after being with someone for years is really, really hard. I've gone through the same thing. Its totally understandable to still think about wanting to be with him, even if you intellectually know you don't need to be with him, or even want to be with him anymore. In my situation, I was the one who initiated the break up (like you), but once I said it, it was like he had just been waiting for me to do it or something! Of course, when I moved away from him (thousand miles or so), I was miserable, I felt alone and empty and all those things you said. For a few days I was a complete mess. Then I got a new job and made new friends and with in about 2 months of leaving, I was soooo much better. You just need to give yourself time. Get your things from the house as soon as you can so that you can disconnect from him fully. I hope things work out well for you. You deserve much better.