Sometimes, for me, it feels like people are addictions. Someone you care for can be dragging you to your grave and you'll still want them; and leaving can take real courage and strength. So good on you!

My first relationship didn't last as long, but I was completely emotionally reliant on her when it ended. Getting over it and moving on was hard, but in the end it was worth it. Years went by without anyone new coming into my life, but at least I wasn't being treated like I was worthless anymore. Then, rather than someone new coming in, someone who had always been there and been good to me let me know how he felt, and we really took off. But it never would have happened if I hadn't been able to let the old, emotionally crippling relationship die.

Also, and I apologize if I'm overstepping my bounds or treading on other issues here, but I sometimes like to think things happen for a reason. Or at least that there's a certain amount of luck involved in life. And I know I would much rather conceive a child with someone who loves and respects me than be stuck tied to an abusive man. Sometimes there are hidden blessings in life, and I do hope you find luck and joy in leaving this mess behind. Try not to worry about the feelings taking time to dissipate. It's normal, and you deserve some time and distance to recuperate from a bad relationship. Good luck and I wish you all the best!