For me, it is not societal shame. I am pretty liberal and if my desires fit with who I am, I don't think I would be ashamed of them. I don't judge other people who have kinky desires at all, if they are having fun and enjoying themselves. The problem is that these desires aren't "me;" they came from trauma. I'm not this kind of person, and my own mind sickens me. I am a romantic kind of person, a wholesome kind of person.. I am not the "kinky girl." That's not me. I know it is a recreation of trauma and it is shameful to me to inflict this suffering on myself. And I truly suffer. Humiliation at the same time as pleasure? That is not how I want things to be.