estrella I understand how you feel, but I think these thoughts are part of the illness, and something that you CAN change.
You're not a waste of space, I'm sure you have a lot to offer, but you're struggling (and that's ok, lots of us do!) and you probably just need some help to feel better.. we can't always do it on our own. Are you seeing a therapist or taking any medication?

I'm having rough times with my mum lately too and she called me manipulative today (and other things). I think people sometimes don't understand what the symptoms of depression or other mental illnesses are, and think we choose to behave in certain ways.

It does sound to me like you're suffering from depression. Just because you can talk to your brothers doesn't mean you're fine. SOmetimes we feel more comfortable around different people... especially when we're feeling so vulnerable, some people are just easier to be around than others. It sounds like your mum is perhaps upset that you don't want to talk to her, though. I think mine is upset too that I seem to be in a mood with her a lot lately, she's taken it very personally because she thinks I just don't like her (I think she doesn't like me either b ecause of this) ... but really it's just all the horrible emotions that I can't seem to control.

I recommend you see a doctor, if you haven't already x