Someone I loved, a 41 year old man, committed suicide 5 months ago. The pain is great. Maybe even more so when it is a young person with their whole life ahead of them, though it's a horrible pain regardless. An important thing to remember is there is no why. There is no why that you will ever understand. Pain. That is the common denominator in suicide. Pain that we can't imagine and they could not live with. Yes, we can see other ways, but they couldn't. Anger? Oh you bet! You and your son will be angry, then you will be mad at yourselves for being angry. You will be sad. You will be devastated. Then you will be angry again. Angry for all you will miss with this person, angry for them cheating you and them out of a life together. Angry for the pain they have caused. You may go through thoughts such as it's the "easy way out" then feel bad for thinking that because it isn't. There are so many things you will feel. Guilt should not be one of them....let the "if onlys" go if you have any. He was hurting and scared and didn't know what to do. I was told, after he died, that he went to safety, to where he knew he would always be safe and not hurt or struggle anymore. Sometimes that helped, sometimes it didn't. When you don't know what to say to your son, don't say anything. Hold him.