So srry to hear about your mom!!!!! (((((((((((Lexi)))))))))))))
It hurts to loose family!!!!
I lost my dad to cancer when I was 14. It took me till age of 27 to actually start to morn or grieve his death. (I stayed in lala land til then). I knew he was in a better place but it still did not take away the loss. I was even very angry at him and it still did not take away the grieving for the loss. He was my father just the same.
Grieving is a normal process and from what I've learned necessary. It doesn't feel good but when we allow our selves to grieve it does get better. Hang in there and be good to you.
skylarks