I thought I was doing quite well... but in past three weeks or so, I have been so unmotivated. I know I should be studying for my Prague-guide exam and do more job-searching (okay, I do this. But there are no jobs. Really none I could possibly do).

But I just wake up in the morning, try to sleep again and wait for the evening to come by. I am extremely tired all the time (today, all I did was to go to the bank to pay my friggen insurance). I wish I could find some job, you know something primitive as leaflet distributor or something, so I would not feel so useless. No luck for past three weeks. And I am tired of roaming the streets and asking in every damn hotel/travel agency whatever... they all tell me the obvious "there's a crisis". So when I make myself to go out, it takes me a long time, I try on several hairdos and clothes, I re-do my make up several times... and sometimes I come home an hour later.

I just lack any motivation... I used to be so hardworking, but at the moment, I am just a mess. My mom insist I go with her on our annual vacation abroad, but I feel guilty even thinking about it. I don't want to spent the money I don't earn... my bank account is still in the plus... but...

And no, I am not in therapy or on meds. I don't really believe in chemistry (I refuse to take even aspirin)... I don't really have the funds to find a therapist since my insurance probably does not cover it.

And I know none of this I wrote makes any sense. Sorry for typos and grammar inconsistencies that may occur.