I can totally relate to what you’re saying. One of my first threads on this site was venting my frustration about my husband’s ability to handle money. He’s an excellent husband. He’s an electrical engineer for crying out loud, but put a $ in front of those numbers and he’s clueless.
About 10 years ago we had the exact same agreement you had. Our house ended up in foreclosure. NOT because we didn’t have the money to pay the stupid mortgage, but because he forgot then decided he’d just make a double payment the next time and ended up being late on it. This is how his mother handled the finances in their house while he was growing up.
This issue brought us to the brink of divorce. I resented him. When I handled the money he didn’t like it. I could tell you to the penny where the money went. At that time we could pay all of our monthly bills with one of his pay weekly paychecks, there was no reason for a bill ever to be late. Of course our interest rates on our credit cards were out of this world because he was late all the time. I tried to show him if he did the finances my way, bills were paid on time, there was money in our savings, the balances on our credit cards were shrinking and we had a lot of money left over for entertainment. The only reason we were having financial difficulties at that time was because by paying everything late, he had to paid huge late fees to everybody.
I finally realized that he just cannot grasp this concept. He wasn’t intentionally being a blockhead, he just doesn’t handle money. As strange as it sounds, he’s not alone. He hates handling the money, and yet feels inadequate when he doesn’t.