Hi Feary,
I hope it will be okay if I help you re-think this. You long for the past and you fear the future but, what about now? We can't change the past and we don't know what the future holds, but we do have this moment. But you can't enjoy this moment because of this fear. I believe we'll die when it's our time, so it doesn't help to worry about it. Everyone of us is aging as we speak and stress can age us prematurely. So you need to figure out how to stop worrying about this, so you won't be affected by stress.

I sometimes worry about stay alive for my girls because I'm the only dependable one. Your children need you to live in the moment. All you can do is be proactively reasonable in taking care of yourself and that's all you can do - leave the rest to faith. What do you think started this fear?