I emailed T this morning thanking her for the postcard and added, "But I still miss you". T replied, "yes, I know, but just because I'm away doesnt mean I've stopped caring".

Each time I email and she replys I learn, so much about normal relationship commuincation I lack, shows just how much went wrong growing up, I think if I'd ever told my adoptive mother I missed her or told her I missed my birth mother she would have replied "dont be stupid you selfish child".