Aw, thanks Ripley. Your reply was so sweet. I wish I were more rainbow-like instead of negative and self-critical. I think it's because I remember my parents telling me things like "You're so pretty but... or "your drawing is good, but...." I didn't gain confidence in myself or my feelings. We didn't express feelings much in my family.

I became attached to my former T after 2 sessions, so I thought it would be the same this time. This therapy is different, which is what I want, except for the part that doesn't want that.

Melba--I'm not sure what I mean by real. Maybe "important" like you said. I can stand the break from her because she's not so important to me yet. I still feel attached to my former T. I'm hesitant to attach to my new T the way I usually do because it hurts so much. I want a middle ground, but that usually doesn't happen with me. I have BPD too, or at least I used to. I keep going over a phrase new T said, for some reason. That starts the attachment process for me. Thinking about HER. So she's going to become real, not a bad thing, since the IFS hopefully will deal with it better than my last T did.