I'm not sure what you mean by a "real person" either. My t has always been a real person to me, but it has always been about the therapy, not the t. I don't get the strong, I can't stand to be away from my t feelings that some of you do. Maybe it is because I'm not BPD. I've also never thought of my therapy in terms of "attachment" to my t. I know I am attached, but that really isn't the issue. What I need to deal with in my own life is always the focus in therapy. We really never talk about the relationship between therapist/client because it really is way down the list in importance. Definitely not the focus. Perhaps that's a good thing for you since that always creates problems for you. Now you can really focus on yourself.