trance, that's exactly how I live my life. I present a calm personae out of necessity and hide the anxiety, depression, worry, memories, fear. A lot of us have a life time of practice and good thing too as it helps us function in society.

But it's a lonely way to live. I always feel alone in a crowd. And while I'm hardly the model for great coping skills, what I've tried to do over the years is keep a few people in my life I can break down in front of. The people here at PC are a part of that for me.

I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to say as I'm in a bad place right now myself but I guess it's that I understand the feeling and am glad you vented.

Cyran0