Depression has always been a part of my life, but I used to function better. I used to hold down a full time job, and I was good at it. I used to be able to use work and responsibilities to keep me focused on proactive, rather than destructive thoughts. I used to enjoy the little things in life more.

Now, it seems that I am scared all the time. I know part of it is life circumstances, but it seems that I can't distract myself as easily from problems. I can't stuff it down and just get on with my life.

I'm sure that finding a full time job again - one that makes me feel needed and helpful, would help. But, I'm terrified of job interviews. I realize that no one enjoys looking for a job or interviewing, but it's gone beyond that. I feel like a deer in the headlights. I can see the car coming - it's going to hit me, but I'm frozen in that spot by my fear.