I am so sorry his betrayal continues to haunt you Belle. So many unanswered questions spinning around your head. Would it help to let yourself let it all out? Instead of pushing the question aside give them a voice and let yourself ask them. Put a pillow in a chair and pretend you are talking to Mark. Say everything you need to say until you are empty. Maybe then the answers won't matter so much.

Maybe you just need to give yourself permission to have these questions. You have every right to have these question even if you will never ever have a satisfactory answer. He made so many mistakes and treated you will such contempt there is nothing he could say to justify his actions. Nothing he has to say will make it right again. But in time you will be right again. Soon this will be one more piece of the puzzle that helps you put it away.